The Whole Self

THE WHOLE SELF

“You put your whole self in
You put your whole self out
Whole self in and you shake it all about.”
The Hokey Pokey
When I think of the long history of the self
on its journey to becoming the whole self, I get tired.
It was the kind of trip you keep making,
Over and over again, you pack and repack so often
the shirts start folding themselves the minute
you take them off.
I kept detailed notes in a brown notebook, I could tell you
when the arm joined, when it fell off again,
when the heart found the intended socket and settled down to pumping.
I could make a map of lost organs, the scrambled liver,
the misplaced brain. Finally finally we met up with one another
on a street corner, in October, during the noon rush.
I could tell you what I was wearing. How suddenly
the face of the harried waitress made sense. I gave my order
in a new voice. Spoke the word vegetables like a precious code.
Had one relapse at a cowboy dance in Bandera, Texas,
under a sky so fat the full moon
was sitting on top of us.
Give me back my villages, I moaned,
the ability to touch and remove the hand
without losing anything.
Take me off this mountain where six counties are visible at once.
I want to remember what it felt like living by inches.
You put the whole self-I’ll keep with the toe.
But no, it was like telling the eye not to blink.
The self held on to its perimeters, committed forever,
as if the reunion could not be reversed.
I jumped inside the ring, all of me. Dance, then, and I danced,
till the room blurred like water, like blood, dance,
and I was leaning headlong into the universe.
Dance! The whole self was a current, a fragile cargo.
A raft someone was paddling through the jungle,
and I was there, waving, and I would be there at the other end.

_Naomi Shihab-Nye
Words Under the Words
The Eighth Mountain Press, 1995

Naomi Shihab Nye is of a female poet American-Palestinian heritage who grew up in the American Midwest and Southwest. She came of age in the 60s and brings a fresh voice to the poetry scene. She frequently uses images drawn from Native American culture or draws on her multicultural upbringing to give voice ot the everyday and add freshness to the mundane. In this poem, "The Whole Self," Nye explores the journey of finding your authentic self. She uses the tableau of a journey where one finds various parts of the self while traveling and seeing things from another perspective.

When I think of the long history of the self
on its journey to becoming the whole self, I get tired.
It was the kind of trip you keep making,
Over and over again, you pack and repack so often
the shirts start folding themselves the minute
you take them off.
I kept detailed notes in a brown notebook, I could tell you
when the arm joined, when it fell off again,
when the heart found the intended socket and settled down to pumping.

Everyone knows how draining it can be to feel as if packing and unpacking merge into one long and arduous task. Yet it seems the poet is telling us that the only way one finds oneself is by engaging in the this particular tedium of packing and unpacking the self. What do you want to bring forward? What do you no longer need? What can you do without and what no longer serves you? Questions all of us must ask at various times in our lives. They are landmarks that sing our names; we know exactly when pivotal, life-changing events occurred.

I could make a map of lost organs, the scrambled liver,
the misplaced brain. Finally, finally we met up with one another
on a street corner, in October, during the noon rush.
I could tell you what I was wearing. How suddenly
the face of the harried waitress made sense. I gave my order
in a new voice. Spoke the word vegetables like a precious code.

Finally, one day it all makes sense. You may feel as if we have lost parts of yourself, then one day all the parts reappear, reassembled and you see yourself in a new way. It’s as if you have found that authentic voice, the one you have struggled so long to own. The one voice that only sings the key of self. The moment of discovery is etched in your mind like a precious engraving .

Had one relapse at a cowboy dance in Bandera, Texas,
under a sky so fat the full moon
was sitting on top of us.
Give me back my villages, I moaned,
the ability to touch and remove the hand
without losing anything.
Take me off this mountain where six counties are visible at once.
I want to remember what it felt like living by inches.
You put the whole self-I’ll keep with the toe.

Then you are slammed and feel as if being pulled back out with a rip-tide. Everyone has moments where they feel as if they have made absolutely no progress and are still the same, despite efforts to change. You just don’t want to see the big picture, you tell yourself. Just give me back the tiniest slice of life, a few moments at a time. But no, you can see everything, not just the inches. Which way of life is more comfortable for you? Are you someone who likes seeing the whole picture or does that equate with worry and loss of control? Are you more comfortable with just a slice called today, this morning, tonight? How much can you handle? This is an individual preference, a decision one makes after experiencing life from all angles. Go back to your comfort zone, but keep with the changes. They become comfortable soon enough. .

But no, it was like telling the eye not to blink.
The self held on to its perimeters, committed forever,
as if the reunion could not be reversed.
I jumped inside the ring, all of me. Dance, then, and I danced,
till the room blurred like water, like blood, dance,
and I was leaning headlong into the universe.
Dance! The whole self was a current, a fragile cargo.
A raft someone was paddling through the jungle,
and I was there, waving, and I would be there at the other end.

Once the wand of change has waved over your life, you cannot turn back. It is a new reality for you. Something happens in that moment of surrender. You begin to like this new rhythm, this new pace of living. It is exhilarating, like surrendering to the current, like finally learning the turns in swing dance, like skiing downhill and flying over the moguls, like raking in rhythm to your own inner music. It’s that moment of freedom that comes when one acknowledges the true self, the one who was always meant to be. It is as liberating and freeing as dancing. Enjoy, you have earned the rewards.

Until next time,
Ann

Sweet Darkness

Sweet Darkness

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.

Turn to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb
tonight.

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in.

Give up all other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.

_David Whyte
The House of Belonging
Many Rivers Press, 1998

This is the first post in a series planned to introduce readers to accessible poetry. What makes a poem accessible to the average reader? Direct language, well-chosen vocabulary, and relatively short length are a few of the components that can assist new poetry readers to feel a connection with a mode of expression many consider boring, obtuse, and irrelevant. Perhaps the only poetry you ever read was in school where you felt bogged down with difficult terms such as iambic pentameter and had trouble distinguishing between open or closed rhyme scheme. You always confused metaphor and simile. The only poems that made sense were the story poems such as "The Charge of the Lightbrigade" or the silly, entertaining poetry of Shel Silverstein. But the world of poetry is vast and waiting for the average person to sit down for a few minutes and absorb the beauty of language chosen with great care to communicate simple as well as profound thoughts. It is my hope that many of you will resonate with the poems I choose and will begin to feel as much at home with a book of poetry as you do with your favorite newspaper or novelist.

David Whyte is a modern poet whose voice is as clear and cloudless as the sky above Crater Lake. He is of English/Irish heritage, has a background in marine zoology, and uses poetry in the workplace to assist people in affecting change in their personal and work lives. He calls all of us out of our routine slumber and directs our gaze to places we may fear or wish to avoid. David asks us to risk being authentic in an increasing virtual world. "Sweet Darkness" is a poem that asks the reader to enter the particular place of darkness that is calling to you now.

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.

You see the world through your own particular set of eyes and your own particualr set of experiences. No one else in creation sees the world exactly as you do. Your vision is unique. But when something unexpected bumps up against us in life, then our vision is temporarily lost. We feel alone and engulfed by the surging energy of life. We cannot be found, just as we can no longer see.

Turn to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb
tonight.

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

Don't fight the darkness, the poet seems to be whispering. Just as our eyes grow accustomed to a dark place, so the dark place will make a home for us, will see our shadow self. No matter what our particular set of circumstances and our particular reasons for being dropped into darkness, we are recognized and loved. Think of the poet's metaphor used to describe this kind of night: your womb. A womb is a place of complete safety, a place where an innocent life can grow and be nurtured. A place to wait until you are ready to emerge, whole at last. A place of incubation, peace and rest.

You must learn one thing.

The world was made to be free in.

Give up all other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Here the poet tells us there is only one thing to know right now: you are meant to be free, to take your own particular place in the grand scheme of life. Have you been going through some life-changing event? Large or small, scale does not matter here. All that matters is that you realize your place in the grand design and take that place. Maybe you are called on to leave a job that is choking you. Maybe a relationship needs to shift or even to end. Maybe there is a geographical change to make or a dream that you feel has always had your name on it. Whatever that world is, it is time to take your place. Know that others have done it before, the poet seems to be saying. You can do this. Just embrace the one world that is yours for the taking, no matter how small or how grand. The time is now and everthing is telling you that.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.

The darkness that has enveloped you has provided a place of safety and shelter to incubate your emerging self, to nourish new growth, or to give sustenance to your will. What is it in your life that has been too small for you? That has not allowed you to grow? The other question concerns a person. Who is it in your life that has stifled you? Who has placed you in a box that you have outgrown?

Life is constantly calling us forward to take our place and to be fully alive. What is that one thing in your life that is now too small for you? Who is that person you have outgrown? Maybe it is a role you have played that no longer suits you. Maybe you need to stand alone. Maybe it's time to become one with a partner. You hold the answer, the poet tells us. Just go into the darkness until you can hear the small voice inside and then follow its becokoning, loving hand.


Until next time,
Ann

Welcome To AMusingPoet

Hi, I am Ann Bracken and I believe in the power of poetry to effect change in our lives. I am a journal coach, a poet, and a writer. I use poetry in my work as a journal coach; more importantly, I use poetry to look at my life and the world around me. People often wonder where a poet gets an idea for a poem. The answer is -everywhere! Once on the DC Metro, the voice on the loudspeaker kept repeating, "Doors opening.....doors closing" and that sparked an idea for a poem. Sometimes a headline will inspire me to speak to an issue in the world, such a peace, fear, or the environment.

One of my favorite places to look for inspiration is in the supermarket check-out line. Take a look at all of the magazine headlines and then imagine culling several of them into a poem. You may see a pattern in the headlines that speaks to you about an issue, a pet peeve, or an event. Just keep your eyes and ears open. Poems will begin to appear. Poetry - for an abundanza experience!